Mike Rice to Rutgers, Or Why HJS Weeps (Cheers) Tonight

[apbc12]

According to everyone's favorite downy reporter Jeff Goodman, HJS' spring crush (WHO WASN'T EVEN CONTACTED ABOUT THE BC OPENING (fire and brimstone and apocalypse and shit)) is headed to Bizarro OJ's real favorite school, SUNY-Piscataway.

Link

[HJS]

That's a damn good hire by that program. The Big Ten is already paying dividends for them. The idea that anyone would defend the "search" and Rice not even being interviewed is more clownshoes than mocking Schiano (who is eleventy billion times better than Spaz) and Rutgers (a program who everyone agrees will be in a more stable and well-paying conference than BC in 3 years.

[futurelesson]

That's a damn good hire by that program. The Big Ten is already paying dividends for them. The idea that anyone would defend the "search" and Rice not even being interviewed is more clownshoes than mocking Schiano (who is eleventy billion times better than Spaz) and Rutgers (a program who everyone agrees will be in a more stable and well-paying conference than BC in 3 years.

THE HOMO SPEAKS THE TRUTH. I COME FROM THE FUTURE TO SPREAD THE NEWS OF RUTGERS DOMINATION. COACH SCHIANO RECENTLY TURNED DOWN A POSITION AS DICTATOR OF THE WORLD BEFORE IT WAS EVEN OFFERED, AND HAS BEEN REWARDED FOR HIS LOYALTY WITH HIS FACE ON THE $100 BILL. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE GREGS, BABY.

RUTGERS IS FINISHING A 20-YEAR UNDEFEATED RUN IN THE BIG-34, WE HAVE RECRUITED THE BEST PLAYERS IN THE UNIVERSE TO PLAY IN FRONT OF OUR ADORING NEW YORK FANBASE, THE BIGGEST MEDIA MARKET IN ANY DIMENSION. YOU 21ST-CENTURIERS AND YOUR PUNY 3 DIMENSIONS! MWAHAHA. WE HAVE FIVE---THOUSAND.

HOW IS COACH SCHIANO STILL ALIVE, YOU ASK? OF COURSE HE INVENTED IMMORTALITY. WHO ELSE COULD ACCOMPLISH SUCH A THING?

LUCKILY, BOSTON COLLEGE WAS DESTROYED IN THE GREAT CAPE WIND DISASTER OF 2020. OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD BE KNEELING AT THE FEET OF EMPEROR SCHIANO AND QUEEN RICE!

[Eagledom]

do you need any more proof that HJS=RutgersAl?

[BC923]

That's a damn good hire by that program. The Big Ten is already paying dividends for them. The idea that anyone would defend the "search" and Rice not even being interviewed is more clownshoes than mocking Schiano (who is eleventy billion times better than Spaz) and Rutgers (a program who everyone agrees will be in a more stable and well-paying conference than BC in 3 years.

THE HOMO SPEAKS THE TRUTH. I COME FROM THE FUTURE TO SPREAD THE NEWS OF RUTGERS DOMINATION. COACH SCHIANO RECENTLY TURNED DOWN A POSITION AS DICTATOR OF THE WORLD BEFORE IT WAS EVEN OFFERED, AND HAS BEEN REWARDED FOR HIS LOYALTY WITH HIS FACE ON THE $100 BILL. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE GREGS, BABY.

RUTGERS IS FINISHING A 20-YEAR UNDEFEATED RUN IN THE BIG-34, WE HAVE RECRUITED THE BEST PLAYERS IN THE UNIVERSE TO PLAY IN FRONT OF OUR ADORING NEW YORK FANBASE, THE BIGGEST MEDIA MARKET IN ANY DIMENSION. YOU 21ST-CENTURIERS AND YOUR PUNY 3 DIMENSIONS! MWAHAHA. WE HAVE FIVE---THOUSAND.

HOW IS COACH SCHIANO STILL ALIVE, YOU ASK? OF COURSE HE INVENTED IMMORTALITY. WHO ELSE COULD ACCOMPLISH SUCH A THING?

LUCKILY, BOSTON COLLEGE WAS DESTROYED IN THE GREAT CAPE WIND DISASTER OF 2020. OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD BE KNEELING AT THE FEET OF EMPEROR SCHIANO AND QUEEN RICE!

I will probably take a hit for this, but I actually liked this a bit, despite it's simplicity.

[historylesson]

You losers are obsessed with me and heaven university on the Raritan

Your basketball coaching search is one more reason you're in the rear view mirror.

[apbc12]

That's a damn good hire by that program. The Big Ten is already paying dividends for them. The idea that anyone would defend the "search" and Rice not even being interviewed is more clownshoes than mocking Schiano (who is eleventy billion times better than Spaz) and Rutgers (a program who everyone agrees will be in a more stable and well-paying conference than BC in 3 years.

You're probably right, I'm just still reeling from BC hiring Coach Keloid, who got the job because he agreed to let Gene pick all the assistants. Everything you've predicted has come true!

[b0mberMan]

That's a damn good hire by that program. The Big Ten is already paying dividends for them. The idea that anyone would defend the "search" and Rice not even being interviewed is more clownshoes than mocking Schiano (who is eleventy billion times better than Spaz) and Rutgers (a program who everyone agrees will be in a more stable and well-paying conference than BC in 3 years.

THE HOMO SPEAKS THE TRUTH. I COME FROM THE FUTURE TO SPREAD THE NEWS OF RUTGERS DOMINATION. COACH SCHIANO RECENTLY TURNED DOWN A POSITION AS DICTATOR OF THE WORLD BEFORE IT WAS EVEN OFFERED, AND HAS BEEN REWARDED FOR HIS LOYALTY WITH HIS FACE ON THE $100 BILL. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE GREGS, BABY.

RUTGERS IS FINISHING A 20-YEAR UNDEFEATED RUN IN THE BIG-34, WE HAVE RECRUITED THE BEST PLAYERS IN THE UNIVERSE TO PLAY IN FRONT OF OUR ADORING NEW YORK FANBASE, THE BIGGEST MEDIA MARKET IN ANY DIMENSION. YOU 21ST-CENTURIERS AND YOUR PUNY 3 DIMENSIONS! MWAHAHA. WE HAVE FIVE---THOUSAND.

HOW IS COACH SCHIANO STILL ALIVE, YOU ASK? OF COURSE HE INVENTED IMMORTALITY. WHO ELSE COULD ACCOMPLISH SUCH A THING?

LUCKILY, BOSTON COLLEGE WAS DESTROYED IN THE GREAT CAPE WIND DISASTER OF 2020. OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD BE KNEELING AT THE FEET OF EMPEROR SCHIANO AND QUEEN RICE!

Since we all found out that Senor Awesome is a real person, I think this wins best alias, non-campion division.

[BCNathanLane]

That's a damn good hire by that program. The Big Ten is already paying dividends for them. The idea that anyone would defend the "search" and Rice not even being interviewed is more clownshoes than mocking Schiano (who is eleventy billion times better than Spaz) and Rutgers (a program who everyone agrees will be in a more stable and well-paying conference than BC in 3 years.

THE HOMO SPEAKS THE TRUTH. I COME FROM THE FUTURE TO SPREAD THE NEWS OF RUTGERS DOMINATION. COACH SCHIANO RECENTLY TURNED DOWN A POSITION AS DICTATOR OF THE WORLD BEFORE IT WAS EVEN OFFERED, AND HAS BEEN REWARDED FOR HIS LOYALTY WITH HIS FACE ON THE $100 BILL. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE GREGS, BABY.

RUTGERS IS FINISHING A 20-YEAR UNDEFEATED RUN IN THE BIG-34, WE HAVE RECRUITED THE BEST PLAYERS IN THE UNIVERSE TO PLAY IN FRONT OF OUR ADORING NEW YORK FANBASE, THE BIGGEST MEDIA MARKET IN ANY DIMENSION. YOU 21ST-CENTURIERS AND YOUR PUNY 3 DIMENSIONS! MWAHAHA. WE HAVE FIVE---THOUSAND.

HOW IS COACH SCHIANO STILL ALIVE, YOU ASK? OF COURSE HE INVENTED IMMORTALITY. WHO ELSE COULD ACCOMPLISH SUCH A THING?

LUCKILY, BOSTON COLLEGE WAS DESTROYED IN THE GREAT CAPE WIND DISASTER OF 2020. OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD BE KNEELING AT THE FEET OF EMPEROR SCHIANO AND QUEEN RICE!

Since we all found out that Senor Awesome is a real person, I think this wins best alias, non-campion division.

Bitch, please.

[pick6pedro]

That's a damn good hire by that program. The Big Ten is already paying dividends for them. The idea that anyone would defend the "search" and Rice not even being interviewed is more clownshoes than mocking Schiano (who is eleventy billion times better than Spaz) and Rutgers (a program who everyone agrees will be in a more stable and well-paying conference than BC in 3 years.

THE HOMO SPEAKS THE TRUTH. I COME FROM THE FUTURE TO SPREAD THE NEWS OF RUTGERS DOMINATION. COACH SCHIANO RECENTLY TURNED DOWN A POSITION AS DICTATOR OF THE WORLD BEFORE IT WAS EVEN OFFERED, AND HAS BEEN REWARDED FOR HIS LOYALTY WITH HIS FACE ON THE $100 BILL. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE GREGS, BABY.

RUTGERS IS FINISHING A 20-YEAR UNDEFEATED RUN IN THE BIG-34, WE HAVE RECRUITED THE BEST PLAYERS IN THE UNIVERSE TO PLAY IN FRONT OF OUR ADORING NEW YORK FANBASE, THE BIGGEST MEDIA MARKET IN ANY DIMENSION. YOU 21ST-CENTURIERS AND YOUR PUNY 3 DIMENSIONS! MWAHAHA. WE HAVE FIVE---THOUSAND.

HOW IS COACH SCHIANO STILL ALIVE, YOU ASK? OF COURSE HE INVENTED IMMORTALITY. WHO ELSE COULD ACCOMPLISH SUCH A THING?

LUCKILY, BOSTON COLLEGE WAS DESTROYED IN THE GREAT CAPE WIND DISASTER OF 2020. OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD BE KNEELING AT THE FEET OF EMPEROR SCHIANO AND QUEEN RICE!

Since we all found out that Senor Awesome is a real person, I think this wins best alias, non-campion division.

To be honest, I did enjoy this futurelesson post. But to be even more honest, the only alias that is worth anything at all is HaletotheVictorers. There, I said it.

[BC923]

I agree HaletoTheVictorers is one of the great posters of all time

[MilitantEagle]

futurelesson gave me the best laugh of the day so far. Nicely done. It's all about the Gregs. Classic.