I hope bob stoops gets aids

[TontoKowalski]

You guys are hilarious. Two of my brood of children are daughters - they are all home on vacation, so I'm working out of the house. My younger daughter noted that I like to throw knives at a target in my office while on conference calls, and asked if I would show her how. Knives are difficult to throw, so I told her we could start with a tomahawk instead. A tomahawk is comparatively easier to throw once you learn how to properly shake hands with Mr. Tomahawk. I'm trying to figure out a way I can teach them to hack out door locks and slash tires with my tac 'hawk but the only thing I've come up with involves a bunch of boarded up rowhomes in a part of Baltimore where we will need reinforcements.

Murt or Philly - available?

You internet tough guys just keep on keepin' on - in the second before the tomahawk spike slices out of the darkness towards you, you'll know you just ran into one of my girls. They are sweet, well-mannered, and you won't see them until its too late.

[DavidGordonsFoot]

You guys are hilarious. Two of my brood of children are daughters - they are all home on vacation, so I'm working out of the house. My younger daughter noted that I like to throw knives at a target in my office while on conference calls, and asked if I would show her how. Knives are difficult to throw, so I told her we could start with a tomahawk instead. A tomahawk is comparatively easier to throw once you learn how to properly shake hands with Mr. Tomahawk. I'm trying to figure out a way I can teach them to hack out door locks and slash tires with my tac 'hawk but the only thing I've come up with involves a bunch of boarded up rowhomes in a part of Baltimore where we will need reinforcements.

Murt or Philly - available?

You internet tough guys just keep on keepin' on - in the second before the tomahawk spike slices out of the darkness towards you, you'll know you just ran into one of my girls. They are sweet, well-mannered, and you won't see them until its too late.

Do you use actual throwing knives or something like buck knives?

Legit throwing knives take a ton of practice. I had a friend in high school who was better with throwing knives than any 16 year old should be. It's too bad there was no legitimate career path that would utilize his skill.

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

You guys are hilarious. Two of my brood of children are daughters - they are all home on vacation, so I'm working out of the house. My younger daughter noted that I like to throw knives at a target in my office while on conference calls, and asked if I would show her how. Knives are difficult to throw, so I told her we could start with a tomahawk instead. A tomahawk is comparatively easier to throw once you learn how to properly shake hands with Mr. Tomahawk. I'm trying to figure out a way I can teach them to hack out door locks and slash tires with my tac 'hawk but the only thing I've come up with involves a bunch of boarded up rowhomes in a part of Baltimore where we will need reinforcements.

Murt or Philly - available?

You internet tough guys just keep on keepin' on - in the second before the tomahawk spike slices out of the darkness towards you, you'll know you just ran into one of my girls. They are sweet, well-mannered, and you won't see them until its too late.

Are any of them still under 18 and interested in a trip to the Far East

JEEZUS CHRIST MAN?!?!?! there are just some things that you don't talk about in public

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

You guys are hilarious. Two of my brood of children are daughters - they are all home on vacation, so I'm working out of the house. My younger daughter noted that I like to throw knives at a target in my office while on conference calls, and asked if I would show her how. Knives are difficult to throw, so I told her we could start with a tomahawk instead. A tomahawk is comparatively easier to throw once you learn how to properly shake hands with Mr. Tomahawk. I'm trying to figure out a way I can teach them to hack out door locks and slash tires with my tac 'hawk but the only thing I've come up with involves a bunch of boarded up rowhomes in a part of Baltimore where we will need reinforcements.

Murt or Philly - available?

You internet tough guys just keep on keepin' on - in the second before the tomahawk spike slices out of the darkness towards you, you'll know you just ran into one of my girls. They are sweet, well-mannered, and you won't see them until its too late.

Do either of them have their own tomahawk that they like to shake hands with. If so, I'd like to shake hands with their "tomahawk"

i expect it out of hansen but always felt you were better than this... i mean, other than your love of the ladyboys

[TontoKowalski]

Throwing knives - its a very difficult skill. Cold Steel makes a 13" throwing knife that is good for beginners. Its made in the USA, too, so you don't have awful shit like having the tips fall off or having to sharpen the blade every six throws that you get from those terrible made-in-China knives. Hibben outsourced their throwers to China and its junk.

I'm not great at it, but I can throw the beginner handle-balance knives reasonably well. Perfectly balanced ones... well... I throw those outside.

[TontoKowalski]

I have long used oysters as a metaphor for testicles when trying to connive one of my male co-workers into bed with me. Oysters can be slurped, sucked, plucked from their shells and massaged with my beefy fingers; oysters can dangle from your lips mid-sentence like brains hanging in a gym sauna, you can put the whole thing into the throat and bring it back out, they are typically paired with a lemon which is designed to be squeezed and squeezed again, until every drop dribbles out. I just love sending scantily veiled homoerotic messages to my male co-workers with oysters.

If the co-worker I take to dinner is a nervous male underling, just learning the ropes of retail tax accounting, I will poke and pierce the oyster with the little lemon fork with unbridled ferocity, a quiet message that his nervousness will be rewarded with slaps and mild funishment later, and that I may leave him manacled to the toilet for the cleaning ladies to find the next morning. In the rare occasiona I can convince the ex-con wearing the statue of liberty costume and twirling the sign on the sidewalk to come to dinner, I order oysters for him, too, then sit on his side of the table and demonstrate how to eat them. WITH MY FINGERS. If I invite a senior middle manager who I really want to impress, I slurp that delicious beast and then use the shells to coyly hide my predatory grin, like a cross between a geisha and a tiger shark.

In closing, I think hansen and foot are pervs and weirdos but I would definitely invite both of them to a seafood restaurant for appetizers.

...but what are your thoughts on throwing knives?

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

pffft, i'm not a tax accountant.

[innocentbystander]

Ghost,

The rise of feminism has had numerous unforeseen consequences, which includes the decline of chivalry. Chivalry was meant to protect the weaker sex from the stronger men. As this norm breaks down, men such as Joe Nixon are less restrained in their relationships with women. The Victorian concept of “women and children first” as evidenced by the majority of men on the Titanic stepping aside so that women could get onto the lifeboats is evidence of a bygone era that is not coming back.

https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2016/12/14/courtly-love-the-origins-of-cuckchivalry/

I can't confirm this on chivalry, but I found this interesting.....

An American female was once very offended by my lack of groveling before wymynkind and demanded me to define chivalry.

I replied, “Chivalry is a way of social organization based on the horse. The man on horseback fights from horseback on behalf of the farmers who grows the oats, and the horse gets to eat the oats … the name comes from Medieval Latin caballarius, meaning ‘man who rides a horse’.”

She asked, “But isn’t it about protecting wymyn?”

I said, “No, it’s about protecting farmers. If the farmers get killed, everyone starves.”

I have so much to tell you guys, its been so long. As a family we vacationed in Europe this summer. It was a blast. Best vacation of my life. What I found interesting is on the flight over, I saw a young man wearing a Trump, "Make America Great Again", hat. He sat two seats over from this loud, obnoxious woman, who just kept drinking free drinks the whole 9 hour, red-eye flight. She was lit. And loud. Never slept. She kept joking poking fun at this guy in the Trump cap about his "white privilege." He didn't say a word, just smiled when he tried to engage her, totally ignored her. When we landed in Italy, and we were getting in line to get off plane, she stepped in front of the Trump supporter. Ladies first. She reached up to get her carry ons out from the overhead bin, and she just couldn't do it. She didn't have the physical strength. Obviously, someone else put her bags up there and someone else had to help her get them down. She started laughing and looked at him and pointed up at her suitcase and said "....are you going to make yourself useful and help me out here or what?" You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle." I chuckled.

[twballgame9]

Did Olive Garden finally hire you on the day shift?

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

...

I have so much to tell you guys, its been so long. As a family we vacationed in Europe this summer. It was a blast. Best vacation of my life. What I found interesting is on the flight over, I saw a young man wearing a Trump, "Make America Great Again", hat. He sat two seats over from this loud, obnoxious woman, who just kept drinking free drinks the whole 9 hour, red-eye flight. She was lit. And loud. Never slept. She kept joking poking fun at this guy in the Trump cap about his "white privilege." He didn't say a word, just smiled when he tried to engage her, totally ignored her. When we landed in Italy, and we were getting in line to get off plane, she stepped in front of the Trump supporter. Ladies first. She reached up to get her carry ons out from the overhead bin, and she just couldn't do it. She didn't have the physical strength. Obviously, someone else put her bags up there and someone else had to help her get them down. She started laughing and looked at him and pointed up at her suitcase and said "....are you going to make yourself useful and help me out here or what?" You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle." I chuckled.

of all the things that never happened, only nospace's verbal altercation with the "occupy boston common" hippie happened less than the above story

[innocentbystander]

...

I have so much to tell you guys, its been so long. As a family we vacationed in Europe this summer. It was a blast. Best vacation of my life. What I found interesting is on the flight over, I saw a young man wearing a Trump, "Make America Great Again", hat. He sat two seats over from this loud, obnoxious woman, who just kept drinking free drinks the whole 9 hour, red-eye flight. She was lit. And loud. Never slept. She kept joking poking fun at this guy in the Trump cap about his "white privilege." He didn't say a word, just smiled when he tried to engage her, totally ignored her. When we landed in Italy, and we were getting in line to get off plane, she stepped in front of the Trump supporter. Ladies first. She reached up to get her carry ons out from the overhead bin, and she just couldn't do it. She didn't have the physical strength. Obviously, someone else put her bags up there and someone else had to help her get them down. She started laughing and looked at him and pointed up at her suitcase and said "....are you going to make yourself useful and help me out here or what?" You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle." I chuckled.

of all the things that never happened, only nospace's verbal altercation with the "occupy boston common" hippie happened less than the above story

The boy at occupy Boston wasn't a hippie. He was a hipster.

[flyingelvii]

...

I have so much to tell you guys, its been so long. As a family we vacationed in Europe this summer. It was a blast. Best vacation of my life. What I found interesting is on the flight over, I saw a young man wearing a Trump, "Make America Great Again", hat. He sat two seats over from this loud, obnoxious woman, who just kept drinking free drinks the whole 9 hour, red-eye flight. She was lit. And loud. Never slept. She kept joking poking fun at this guy in the Trump cap about his "white privilege." He didn't say a word, just smiled when he tried to engage her, totally ignored her. When we landed in Italy, and we were getting in line to get off plane, she stepped in front of the Trump supporter. Ladies first. She reached up to get her carry ons out from the overhead bin, and she just couldn't do it. She didn't have the physical strength. Obviously, someone else put her bags up there and someone else had to help her get them down. She started laughing and looked at him and pointed up at her suitcase and said "....are you going to make yourself useful and help me out here or what?" You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle." I chuckled.

of all the things that never happened, only nospace's verbal altercation with the "occupy boston common" hippie happened less than the above story

I personally vote for the microvagina flashing story.

[Onyx Blackman]

As a family we vacationed in Europe this summer.

False.

It was a blast.

False.

Best vacation of my life.

True. Spending a week on the coach eating peanut butter is better than some of the previous vacations you've described.

What I found interesting is on the flight over, I saw a young man wearing a Trump, "Make America Great Again", hat.

False.

He sat two seats over from this loud, obnoxious woman, who just kept drinking free drinks the whole 9 hour, red-eye flight. She was lit. And loud. Never slept. She kept joking poking fun at this guy in the Trump cap about his "white privilege." He didn't say a word, just smiled when he tried to engage her, totally ignored her.

False. And you forgot the part where she flashed her microvag.

When we landed in Italy, and we were getting in line to get off plane, she stepped in front of the Trump supporter. Ladies first. She reached up to get her carry ons out from the overhead bin, and she just couldn't do it. She didn't have the physical strength. Obviously, someone else put her bags up there and someone else had to help her get them down. She started laughing and looked at him and pointed up at her suitcase and said "....are you going to make yourself useful and help me out here or what?"

False.

You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle."

This guy talks just how you talk! What a coincidence!

I chuckled.

True. As you used a rag on a stick to smear peanut butter in the general region of your micropeen and called to your dog Bow Woward Roark, you thought of how satisfying it would be to be stuck on a plane with a caricature of a lazy blue pill cancerous feminist and have the perfect comeback for her lazy blue pill cancerous feminist ways. And, as you slowly realized that your dog was probably dead because you were too lazy to feed him while your wife took "your" kids on a family vacation, you chuckled.



* The dog isn't really dead because he doesn't exist because IB isn't a real person.

[Corporal Funishment]

You guys are hilarious. Two of my brood of children are daughters - they are all home on vacation, so I'm working out of the house. My younger daughter noted that I like to throw knives at a target in my office while on conference calls, and asked if I would show her how. Knives are difficult to throw, so I told her we could start with a tomahawk instead. A tomahawk is comparatively easier to throw once you learn how to properly shake hands with Mr. Tomahawk. I'm trying to figure out a way I can teach them to hack out door locks and slash tires with my tac 'hawk but the only thing I've come up with involves a bunch of boarded up rowhomes in a part of Baltimore where we will need reinforcements.

Murt or Philly - available?

You internet tough guys just keep on keepin' on - in the second before the tomahawk spike slices out of the darkness towards you, you'll know you just ran into one of my girls. They are sweet, well-mannered, and you won't see them until its too late.

You spent so much time reading the Hunger Games, you think you're in the Hunger Games

[TontoKowalski]

IB's attempts at phony stories have become phonier than Angry Chicken parodying IB's attempts at phony stories.

The only thing IB's phony attempt above is missing is a gag about 'like a fish needs a bicycle with no seat' followed by IB and the Trump hat man having a surprise rendezvous a few days later in a dark Tuscan sausage cavern full of creaky, veiny, hand-crafted soppressatta dangling from the ceilings and slapping IB in the face.

If only el pollo furioso hadn't lost his copy of ms paint.

[innocentbystander]

IB's attempts at phony stories have become phonier than Angry Chicken parodying IB's attempts at phony stories.

The only thing IB's phony attempt above is missing is a gag about 'like a fish needs a bicycle with no seat' followed by IB and the Trump hat man having a surprise rendezvous a few days later in a dark Tuscan sausage cavern full of creaky, veiny, hand-crafted soppressatta dangling from the ceilings and slapping IB in the face.

If only el pollo furioso hadn't lost his copy of ms paint.

Tonto, I am not lying. I was being sincere. But whatever. It's all good.

I always loved your stories Tonto. If you don't want me to share, I know when I'm not wanted.

[innocentbystander]

You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle."

This guy talks just how you talk! What a coincidence!

b0mber, where did you think I heard this term to think to mention it at EO (for the first time, ever) if not from him? I had to look it up after....

there are a lot of red pill men out there.

[twballgame9]

You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle."

This guy talks just how you talk! What a coincidence!

b0mber, where did you think I heard this term to think to mention it at EO (for the first time, ever) if not from him? I had to look it up after....

there are a lot of red pill men out there.

blue pills are for dumbasses that got married at 23

[innocentbystander]

You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle."

This guy talks just how you talk! What a coincidence!

b0mber, where did you think I heard this term to think to mention it at EO (for the first time, ever) if not from him? I had to look it up after....

there are a lot of red pill men out there.

blue pills are for dumbasses that got married at 23

usually

[hansen]

I have long used oysters as a metaphor for testicles when trying to connive one of my male co-workers into bed with me. Oysters can be slurped, sucked, plucked from their shells and massaged with my beefy fingers; oysters can dangle from your lips mid-sentence like brains hanging in a gym sauna, you can put the whole thing into the throat and bring it back out, they are typically paired with a lemon which is designed to be squeezed and squeezed again, until every drop dribbles out. I just love sending scantily veiled homoerotic messages to my male co-workers with oysters.

If the co-worker I take to dinner is a nervous male underling, just learning the ropes of retail tax accounting, I will poke and pierce the oyster with the little lemon fork with unbridled ferocity, a quiet message that his nervousness will be rewarded with slaps and mild funishment later, and that I may leave him manacled to the toilet for the cleaning ladies to find the next morning. In the rare occasiona I can convince the ex-con wearing the statue of liberty costume and twirling the sign on the sidewalk to come to dinner, I order oysters for him, too, then sit on his side of the table and demonstrate how to eat them. WITH MY FINGERS. If I invite a senior middle manager who I really want to impress, I slurp that delicious beast and then use the shells to coyly hide my predatory grin, like a cross between a geisha and a tiger shark.

In closing, I think hansen and foot are pervs and weirdos but I would definitely invite both of them to a seafood restaurant for appetizers.

...but what are your thoughts on throwing knives?

Post of the year.

[TontoKowalski]

I always loved you

Well, I can't say the same as I hardly know you - but I did like it better when your stories were plausible. Like that one about the jellyfish.

[hansen]

IB's attempts at phony stories have become phonier than Angry Chicken parodying IB's attempts at phony stories.

The only thing IB's phony attempt above is missing is a gag about 'like a fish needs a bicycle with no seat' followed by IB and the Trump hat man having a surprise rendezvous a few days later in a dark Tuscan sausage cavern full of creaky, veiny, hand-crafted soppressatta dangling from the ceilings and slapping IB in the face.

If only el pollo furioso hadn't lost his copy of ms paint.

The soppresetta or the man's balls?

[twballgame9]

You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle."

This guy talks just how you talk! What a coincidence!

b0mber, where did you think I heard this term to think to mention it at EO (for the first time, ever) if not from him? I had to look it up after....

there are a lot of red pill men out there.

blue pills are for dumbasses that got married at 23

usually

Always. Pussies

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle."

This guy talks just how you talk! What a coincidence!

b0mber, where did you think I heard this term to think to mention it at EO (for the first time, ever) if not from him? I had to look it up after....

there are a lot of red pill men out there.

my guess is you heard it in a u2 song

[TontoKowalski]

IB's attempts at phony stories have become phonier than Angry Chicken parodying IB's attempts at phony stories.

The only thing IB's phony attempt above is missing is a gag about 'like a fish needs a bicycle with no seat' followed by IB and the Trump hat man having a surprise rendezvous a few days later in a dark Tuscan sausage cavern full of creaky, veiny, hand-crafted soppressatta dangling from the ceilings and slapping IB in the face.

If only el pollo furioso hadn't lost his copy of ms paint.

The soppresetta or the man's balls?

I've never wondered about your appearance before, hansen, but this response conjured forth an image of you in my mind that is worth sharing. I suddenly imagined you as a fat slobbering Long Islander, pantsless, on a phone sex line, chewing a chicken parm sub with your mouth open, listening to some strumpet silkily whisper content from this board into your ear. When she gets to this post, you open your mouth and, in a thick Ronkonkoma accent, spraying a mist of masticated Grade D Rhode Island Red into the mouthpiece of your grandma's rotary phone, ask 'THE SAUSAGE? OR THE BALLS? TELL ME'

At this point if Bob Stoops just reads this thread, it will give him syphillis.

[angrychicken]

You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle."

This guy talks just how you talk! What a coincidence!

b0mber, where did you think I heard this term to think to mention it at EO (for the first time, ever) if not from him? I had to look it up after....

there are a lot of red pill men out there.

my guess is you heard it in a u2 song

Did they play u2 songs at Zanzibar? I don't know because I'm not Eurotrash.

[twballgame9]

You could hear a pin drop as Mr Make America Great Again responded (in turn) "....well I would, but feminism taught me that women need men the way a fish need a bicycle."

This guy talks just how you talk! What a coincidence!

b0mber, where did you think I heard this term to think to mention it at EO (for the first time, ever) if not from him? I had to look it up after....

there are a lot of red pill men out there.

my guess is you heard it in a u2 song

Did they play u2 songs at Zanzibar? I don't know because I'm not Eurotrash.

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

IB's attempts at phony stories have become phonier than Angry Chicken parodying IB's attempts at phony stories.

The only thing IB's phony attempt above is missing is a gag about 'like a fish needs a bicycle with no seat' followed by IB and the Trump hat man having a surprise rendezvous a few days later in a dark Tuscan sausage cavern full of creaky, veiny, hand-crafted soppressatta dangling from the ceilings and slapping IB in the face.

If only el pollo furioso hadn't lost his copy of ms paint.

The soppresetta or the man's balls?

I've never wondered about your appearance before, hansen, but this response conjured forth an image of you in my mind that is worth sharing. I suddenly imagined you as a fat slobbering Long Islander, pantsless, on a phone sex line, chewing a chicken parm sub with your mouth open, listening to some strumpet silkily whisper content from this board into your ear. When she gets to this post, you open your mouth and, in a thick Ronkonkoma accent, spraying a mist of masticated Grade D Rhode Island Red into the mouthpiece of your grandma's rotary phone, ask 'THE SAUSAGE? OR THE BALLS? TELL ME'

At this point if Bob Stoops just reads this thread, it will give him syphillis.

i think s.u.h. has admitted a rhode island upbringing. i think all the sexual deviants called ri home during their formative years

i did not grow up in ri

[DavidGordonsFoot]

i think s.u.h. has admitted a rhode island upbringing. i think all the sexual deviants called ri home during their formative years

i did not grow up in ri

CONFIRMED, s.u.h. grew up in or around Watch Hill.

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

i think s.u.h. has admitted a rhode island upbringing. i think all the sexual deviants called ri home during their formative years

i did not grow up in ri

CONFIRMED, s.u.h. grew up in or around Watch Hill.

is that where you first saw him in his running shorts?