Frank Spaziani vs. Steve Addazio Thread

[Corporal Funishment]

I bet you Spaz recruited more NFL players in his 4 years than Daz has in his 4.

That(no apostrophe)s stupid for the same reason as the overall comparison. It(no apostrophe)s more difficult to recruit after the program has been ruined than while it(no apostrophe) is in the process of being ruined.

Okay Kelsey no-Grammar, humor me. Name a quantifiable thing Daz could do that would make him worse than Spaz, if losing more games, recruiting crappier players, and putting less butts in the seats don't count. Or is your argument that Spaz is just so singularly bad that no one could be worse...

A few easy ones come to mind:
1) Wins vs. Ranked Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
2) Wins vs. Top 10 Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
3) Wins vs. Opponents w/ Winning Records: Spaz = 4 in 4 years, Daz = 6 in 3 years.

Of the 16 wins against FBS opponents compiled by Spaz, exactly 4 came against teams that would finish the season with a winning record. Consistently beat Wake, NCST, caught UVa and (still terrible) Duke in the coastal a few times. Garbage record.

I'm not pressing this point to defend Daz. Only a fool would say either has been anything but bad. I'm pressing the point because no BC fan anywhere at any time should ever make light of the horror of the Spaz years. There was nothing good during those years. I don't care what statistics you can pull out of your ass.

I'm not pulling statistics out of my ass you imperious clod. I'm telling you what I see and I know what I'm talking about. I personally attended every home game in the Spaz era but for two. Having realized that was a waste of my time and money, I've still been stupid enough to watch every single game of the Daz era on TV, or oftentimes, in infuriating fits and starts in 144p on ESPN-flipping-3. The team is crap now just like it was crap under Spaz. One win over a team that had 50 scholarship players, an alcoholic coach, and a wildly inflated ranking based purely on brand strength may have been exciting at the time but in retrospect it was very clearly fool's gold. I don't even care if the team is bad. I can live with bad. I've been living with bad for almost ten years. What I saw last week wasn't bad. What I saw was Howard. I can't live with Howard.

[TontoKowalski]

I'm not pulling statistics out of my ass you imperious clod.

PRODUCE THE MANDOLIN!!

Interpreting college football with statistics is generally a stupid endeavor - we all understand this argument when we make fun of IB for writing up games after reading the box scores, but its true at the macro level, too, and that sham of a dickbag Nate Silver has enabled every two-bit dimbulb with a copy of Excel to think that they can Silver it up like Juggalos singing Magnets, how do they work?

Why on earth would you bother? If you watch a few games, it becomes clear that Nick Saban is a good football coach and Steve Addazio is a bad football coach. Let's pick someone in the middle - is Brian Kelly a good football coach? Mostly. But you don't need anything statistical to tell you this - just watch some games.

Using statistics to determine who is a worse coach between Spaz and Daz is an unfathomably stupid waste of time and walrus should be ashamed of himself for doing it. He is, in essence, measuring turds. Not just measuring turds, but drafting categories of attributes and testing standards for turds, with the goal of producing an Absolute Scale for Turd Coaching.

Is this turd inferior to that turd because it is misshapen? To what extent does shape determine a turd's superiority? How about colors? Multiple colors crammed together, like a scoop of milk chocolate crammed on a scoop of dark chocolate crammed on a chocolate coated waffle cone - is this better than a single color? What about the smell, how do we rate the smell? I just farted - maybe if walrus comes and sniffs my ass it will lend some insight into which of Spaz and Daz is worse at calling run plays.

Daz sucks, Spaz sucks, there is nothing worse than an assclown who sees a hair split into two and needs to compulsively split it into four. This thread is worse than Burger King.

[Brooklyneagle]

I'm not pulling statistics out of my ass you imperious clod.

PRODUCE THE MANDOLIN!!

Interpreting college football with statistics is generally a stupid endeavor - we all understand this argument when we make fun of IB for writing up games after reading the box scores, but its true at the macro level, too, and that sham of a dickbag Nate Silver has enabled every two-bit dimbulb with a copy of Excel to think that they can Silver it up like Juggalos singing Magnets, how do they work?

Why on earth would you bother? If you watch a few games, it becomes clear that Nick Saban is a good football coach and Steve Addazio is a bad football coach. Let's pick someone in the middle - is Brian Kelly a good football coach? Mostly. But you don't need anything statistical to tell you this - just watch some games.

Using statistics to determine who is a worse coach between Spaz and Daz is an unfathomably stupid waste of time and walrus should be ashamed of himself for doing it. He is, in essence, measuring turds. Not just measuring turds, but drafting categories of attributes and testing standards for turds, with the goal of producing an Absolute Scale for Turd Coaching.

Is this turd inferior to that turd because it is misshapen? To what extent does shape determine a turd's superiority? How about colors? Multiple colors crammed together, like a scoop of milk chocolate crammed on a scoop of dark chocolate crammed on a chocolate coated waffle cone - is this better than a single color? What about the smell, how do we rate the smell? I just farted - maybe if walrus comes and sniffs my ass it will lend some insight into which of Spaz and Daz is worse at calling run plays.

Daz sucks, Spaz sucks, there is nothing worse than an assclown who sees a hair split into two and needs to compulsively split it into four. This thread is worse than Burger King.

Agree that this has become tiresome turd comparison. At the outset I can see some utility in pointing out, for those unaware, how Daz' record to date compares to Spaz'. Point being: if you, like everyone, think Spaz was bad, you now have to admit Daz is also bad. But enough.

[eagle9903]

I'm not pulling statistics out of my ass you imperious clod.

PRODUCE THE MANDOLIN!!

Interpreting college football with statistics is generally a stupid endeavor - we all understand this argument when we make fun of IB for writing up games after reading the box scores, but its true at the macro level, too, and that sham of a dickbag Nate Silver has enabled every two-bit dimbulb with a copy of Excel to think that they can Silver it up like Juggalos singing Magnets, how do they work?

Why on earth would you bother? If you watch a few games, it becomes clear that Nick Saban is a good football coach and Steve Addazio is a bad football coach. Let's pick someone in the middle - is Brian Kelly a good football coach? Mostly. But you don't need anything statistical to tell you this - just watch some games.

Using statistics to determine who is a worse coach between Spaz and Daz is an unfathomably stupid waste of time and walrus should be ashamed of himself for doing it. He is, in essence, measuring turds. Not just measuring turds, but drafting categories of attributes and testing standards for turds, with the goal of producing an Absolute Scale for Turd Coaching.

Is this turd inferior to that turd because it is misshapen? To what extent does shape determine a turd's superiority? How about colors? Multiple colors crammed together, like a scoop of milk chocolate crammed on a scoop of dark chocolate crammed on a chocolate coated waffle cone - is this better than a single color? What about the smell, how do we rate the smell? I just farted - maybe if walrus comes and sniffs my ass it will lend some insight into which of Spaz and Daz is worse at calling run plays.

Daz sucks, Spaz sucks, there is nothing worse than an assclown who sees a hair split into two and needs to compulsively split it into four. This thread is worse than Burger King.

Agree that this has become tiresome turd comparison. At the outset I can see some utility in pointing out, for those unaware, how Daz' record to date compares to Spaz'. Point being: if you, like everyone, think Spaz was bad, you now have to admit Daz is also bad. But enough.

This is exactly what I disagree with. Addazio could have had a period in which his record and recruiting matched Spaz and still not been terrible because of the differing starting points and therefore it was not useful, it was misleading. Notwithstanding that, Addazio certainly does not appear to be good enough to pull out of Spaz's disaster and may have, in fact, added to it in more ways than simply adding years on to the Rutgerization period.

[commavegarage]

can someone remind me of bates' contract situation? i forget if it's end of this school year or next (presumably his contract is on an academic calendar)

[commavegarage]

can someone remind me of bates' contract situation? i forget if it's end of this school year or next (presumably his contract is on an academic calendar)

[dtwalrus]

I bet you Spaz recruited more NFL players in his 4 years than Daz has in his 4.

That(no apostrophe)s stupid for the same reason as the overall comparison. It(no apostrophe)s more difficult to recruit after the program has been ruined than while it(no apostrophe) is in the process of being ruined.

Okay Kelsey no-Grammar, humor me. Name a quantifiable thing Daz could do that would make him worse than Spaz, if losing more games, recruiting crappier players, and putting less butts in the seats don't count. Or is your argument that Spaz is just so singularly bad that no one could be worse...

A few easy ones come to mind:
1) Wins vs. Ranked Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
2) Wins vs. Top 10 Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
3) Wins vs. Opponents w/ Winning Records: Spaz = 4 in 4 years, Daz = 6 in 3 years.

Of the 16 wins against FBS opponents compiled by Spaz, exactly 4 came against teams that would finish the season with a winning record. Consistently beat Wake, NCST, caught UVa and (still terrible) Duke in the coastal a few times. Garbage record.

I'm not pressing this point to defend Daz. Only a fool would say either has been anything but bad. I'm pressing the point because no BC fan anywhere at any time should ever make light of the horror of the Spaz years. There was nothing good during those years. I don't care what statistics you can pull out of your ass.

I'm not pulling statistics out of my ass you imperious clod. I'm telling you what I see and I know what I'm talking about. I personally attended every home game in the Spaz era but for two. Having realized that was a waste of my time and money, I've still been stupid enough to watch every single game of the Daz era on TV, or oftentimes, in infuriating fits and starts in 144p on ESPN-flipping-3. The team is crap now just like it was crap under Spaz. One win over a team that had 50 scholarship players, an alcoholic coach, and a wildly inflated ranking based purely on brand strength may have been exciting at the time but in retrospect it was very clearly fool's gold. I don't even care if the team is bad. I can live with bad. I've been living with bad for almost ten years. What I saw last week wasn't bad. What I saw was Howard. I can't live with Howard.

Off to a good start in the worst poster contest. I make the argument that Funishment's statistics are garbage and I get piled on for trying to rely on statistics.

[eagle9903]

can someone remind me of bates' contract situation? i forget if it's end of this school year or next (presumably his contract is on an academic calendar)

According to the Hohler article from March 2016 "He [Bates] is in the fourth year of a five-year deal." Bates' hiring was announced on October 9, 2012. I have no idea if it is on an academic calendar. If his contract is 5 calendar (not-academic calendar) years from 10/9/12 it would end in the middle of the 2017 football season. It probably doesn't but I don't know how it does work. Coach Flip officially retired at the end of September 2012.

[twballgame9]

I bet you Spaz recruited more NFL players in his 4 years than Daz has in his 4.

That(no apostrophe)s stupid for the same reason as the overall comparison. It(no apostrophe)s more difficult to recruit after the program has been ruined than while it(no apostrophe) is in the process of being ruined.

Okay Kelsey no-Grammar, humor me. Name a quantifiable thing Daz could do that would make him worse than Spaz, if losing more games, recruiting crappier players, and putting less butts in the seats don't count. Or is your argument that Spaz is just so singularly bad that no one could be worse...

A few easy ones come to mind:
1) Wins vs. Ranked Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
2) Wins vs. Top 10 Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
3) Wins vs. Opponents w/ Winning Records: Spaz = 4 in 4 years, Daz = 6 in 3 years.

Of the 16 wins against FBS opponents compiled by Spaz, exactly 4 came against teams that would finish the season with a winning record. Consistently beat Wake, NCST, caught UVa and (still terrible) Duke in the coastal a few times. Garbage record.

I'm not pressing this point to defend Daz. Only a fool would say either has been anything but bad. I'm pressing the point because no BC fan anywhere at any time should ever make light of the horror of the Spaz years. There was nothing good during those years. I don't care what statistics you can pull out of your ass.

I'm not pulling statistics out of my ass you imperious clod. I'm telling you what I see and I know what I'm talking about. I personally attended every home game in the Spaz era but for two. Having realized that was a waste of my time and money, I've still been stupid enough to watch every single game of the Daz era on TV, or oftentimes, in infuriating fits and starts in 144p on ESPN-flipping-3. The team is crap now just like it was crap under Spaz. One win over a team that had 50 scholarship players, an alcoholic coach, and a wildly inflated ranking based purely on brand strength may have been exciting at the time but in retrospect it was very clearly fool's gold. I don't even care if the team is bad. I can live with bad. I've been living with bad for almost ten years. What I saw last week wasn't bad. What I saw was Howard. I can't live with Howard.

Off to a good start in the worst poster contest. I make the argument that Funishment's statistics are garbage and I get piled on for trying to rely on statistics.

Both of your stats were garbage, his were a little more garbagier.

[eagle9903]

I bet you Spaz recruited more NFL players in his 4 years than Daz has in his 4.

That(no apostrophe)s stupid for the same reason as the overall comparison. It(no apostrophe)s more difficult to recruit after the program has been ruined than while it(no apostrophe) is in the process of being ruined.

Okay Kelsey no-Grammar, humor me. Name a quantifiable thing Daz could do that would make him worse than Spaz, if losing more games, recruiting crappier players, and putting less butts in the seats don't count. Or is your argument that Spaz is just so singularly bad that no one could be worse...

A few easy ones come to mind:
1) Wins vs. Ranked Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
2) Wins vs. Top 10 Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
3) Wins vs. Opponents w/ Winning Records: Spaz = 4 in 4 years, Daz = 6 in 3 years.

Of the 16 wins against FBS opponents compiled by Spaz, exactly 4 came against teams that would finish the season with a winning record. Consistently beat Wake, NCST, caught UVa and (still terrible) Duke in the coastal a few times. Garbage record.

I'm not pressing this point to defend Daz. Only a fool would say either has been anything but bad. I'm pressing the point because no BC fan anywhere at any time should ever make light of the horror of the Spaz years. There was nothing good during those years. I don't care what statistics you can pull out of your ass.

I'm not pulling statistics out of my ass you imperious clod. I'm telling you what I see and I know what I'm talking about. I personally attended every home game in the Spaz era but for two. Having realized that was a waste of my time and money, I've still been stupid enough to watch every single game of the Daz era on TV, or oftentimes, in infuriating fits and starts in 144p on ESPN-flipping-3. The team is crap now just like it was crap under Spaz. One win over a team that had 50 scholarship players, an alcoholic coach, and a wildly inflated ranking based purely on brand strength may have been exciting at the time but in retrospect it was very clearly fool's gold. I don't even care if the team is bad. I can live with bad. I've been living with bad for almost ten years. What I saw last week wasn't bad. What I saw was Howard. I can't live with Howard.

Off to a good start in the worst poster contest. I make the argument that Funishment's statistics are garbage and I get piled on for trying to rely on statistics.

Both of your stats were garbage, his were a little more garbagier.

the funishment is the garbagiest

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

I bet you Spaz recruited more NFL players in his 4 years than Daz has in his 4.

That(no apostrophe)s stupid for the same reason as the overall comparison. It(no apostrophe)s more difficult to recruit after the program has been ruined than while it(no apostrophe) is in the process of being ruined.

Okay Kelsey no-Grammar, humor me. Name a quantifiable thing Daz could do that would make him worse than Spaz, if losing more games, recruiting crappier players, and putting less butts in the seats don't count. Or is your argument that Spaz is just so singularly bad that no one could be worse...

A few easy ones come to mind:
1) Wins vs. Ranked Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
2) Wins vs. Top 10 Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
3) Wins vs. Opponents w/ Winning Records: Spaz = 4 in 4 years, Daz = 6 in 3 years.

Of the 16 wins against FBS opponents compiled by Spaz, exactly 4 came against teams that would finish the season with a winning record. Consistently beat Wake, NCST, caught UVa and (still terrible) Duke in the coastal a few times. Garbage record.

I'm not pressing this point to defend Daz. Only a fool would say either has been anything but bad. I'm pressing the point because no BC fan anywhere at any time should ever make light of the horror of the Spaz years. There was nothing good during those years. I don't care what statistics you can pull out of your ass.

I'm not pulling statistics out of my ass you imperious clod. I'm telling you what I see and I know what I'm talking about. I personally attended every home game in the Spaz era but for two. Having realized that was a waste of my time and money, I've still been stupid enough to watch every single game of the Daz era on TV, or oftentimes, in infuriating fits and starts in 144p on ESPN-flipping-3. The team is crap now just like it was crap under Spaz. One win over a team that had 50 scholarship players, an alcoholic coach, and a wildly inflated ranking based purely on brand strength may have been exciting at the time but in retrospect it was very clearly fool's gold. I don't even care if the team is bad. I can live with bad. I've been living with bad for almost ten years. What I saw last week wasn't bad. What I saw was Howard. I can't live with Howard.

Off to a good start in the worst poster contest. I make the argument that Funishment's statistics are garbage and I get piled on for trying to rely on statistics.

Both of your stats were garbage, his were a little more garbagier.

the funishments the garbagiest

fixed

[eagle9903]

I bet you Spaz recruited more NFL players in his 4 years than Daz has in his 4.

That(no apostrophe)s stupid for the same reason as the overall comparison. It(no apostrophe)s more difficult to recruit after the program has been ruined than while it(no apostrophe) is in the process of being ruined.

Okay Kelsey no-Grammar, humor me. Name a quantifiable thing Daz could do that would make him worse than Spaz, if losing more games, recruiting crappier players, and putting less butts in the seats don't count. Or is your argument that Spaz is just so singularly bad that no one could be worse...

A few easy ones come to mind:
1) Wins vs. Ranked Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
2) Wins vs. Top 10 Opponents: Spaz = 0, Daz = 1
3) Wins vs. Opponents w/ Winning Records: Spaz = 4 in 4 years, Daz = 6 in 3 years.

Of the 16 wins against FBS opponents compiled by Spaz, exactly 4 came against teams that would finish the season with a winning record. Consistently beat Wake, NCST, caught UVa and (still terrible) Duke in the coastal a few times. Garbage record.

I'm not pressing this point to defend Daz. Only a fool would say either has been anything but bad. I'm pressing the point because no BC fan anywhere at any time should ever make light of the horror of the Spaz years. There was nothing good during those years. I don't care what statistics you can pull out of your ass.

I'm not pulling statistics out of my ass you imperious clod. I'm telling you what I see and I know what I'm talking about. I personally attended every home game in the Spaz era but for two. Having realized that was a waste of my time and money, I've still been stupid enough to watch every single game of the Daz era on TV, or oftentimes, in infuriating fits and starts in 144p on ESPN-flipping-3. The team is crap now just like it was crap under Spaz. One win over a team that had 50 scholarship players, an alcoholic coach, and a wildly inflated ranking based purely on brand strength may have been exciting at the time but in retrospect it was very clearly fool's gold. I don't even care if the team is bad. I can live with bad. I've been living with bad for almost ten years. What I saw last week wasn't bad. What I saw was Howard. I can't live with Howard.

Off to a good start in the worst poster contest. I make the argument that Funishment's statistics are garbage and I get piled on for trying to rely on statistics.

Both of your stats were garbage, his were a little more garbagier.

the funishments the garbagiest

fixed

no, an apostrophe would be used they're.

[Corporal Funishment]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

[twballgame9]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

I predict that you will make your one funny shtick unfunny from overuse.

[Corporal Funishment]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

I predict that you will make your one funny shtick unfunny from overuse.

Your prediction just ensured that will never happen.

[twballgame9]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

I predict that you will make your one funny shtick unfunny from overuse.

Your prediction just ensured that will never happen.

Okay Big Ben.

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

I predict that you will make your one funny shtick unfunny from overuse.

which one are you, teddy?

i assume i'm the world's worst prognosticator because even you are beating me in the pick'em so far

[twballgame9]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

I predict that you will make your one funny shtick unfunny from overuse.

which one are you, teddy?

i assume i'm the world's worst prognosticator because even you are beating me in the pick'em so far

I always assume that title belongs to me, a belief confirmed by Colonel Clarifythejoke.

[angrychicken]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

Keep fightin' the good fight, Funishment!

#TEAMFUNISHMENT

[CorporalFunishment]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

I predict that you will make your one funny shtick unfunny from overuse.

which one are you, teddy?

i assume i'm the world's worst prognosticator because even you are beating me in the pick'em so far

I always assume that title belongs to me, a belief confirmed by Colonel Clarifythejoke.

That assumption is correct

[twballgame9]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

I predict that you will make your one funny shtick unfunny from overuse.

which one are you, teddy?

i assume i'm the world's worst prognosticator because even you are beating me in the pick'em so far

I always assume that title belongs to me, a belief confirmed by Colonel Clarifythejoke.

That assumption is correct

Is Glacier behind the Big Ben alias and can't log in?

[Ben Roethlisberger]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

I predict that you will make your one funny shtick unfunny from overuse.

which one are you, teddy?

i assume i'm the world's worst prognosticator because even you are beating me in the pick'em so far

I always assume that title belongs to me, a belief confirmed by Colonel Clarifythejoke.

That assumption is correct

Is Glacier behind the Big Ben alias and can't log in?

I dislike Corporal Funishment so much that I wouldn't rape his underage daughter, even if she were hot

[TobaccoRoadEagle]

firedaz.com is live

are you the power behind this? i'm just wondering if i need to be wary of future links taking me to websites featuring trannies and ladyboys

No. I first saw it on Twitter.

There's only one person that could make that site truly glorious.

enrico palazzo?

Getting warmer...

chris berman?

[hansen]

When Walrus, Salt Queen, World's Worst Prognosticator, and World's Worst Everything Else attack you in consecutive posts, you know you're doing something right.

I predict that you will make your one funny shtick unfunny from overuse.

which one are you, teddy?

i assume i'm the world's worst prognosticator because even you are beating me in the pick'em so far

I always assume that title belongs to me, a belief confirmed by Colonel Clarifythejoke.

That assumption is correct

Is Glacier behind the Big Ben alias and can't log in?

I dislike Corporal Funishment so much that I wouldn't rape his underage daughter, even if she were hot

Why is TRE the salt queen?

[Corporal Funishment]

Why is TRE the salt queen?

[Max Quad]

WHO IS THE SHITTIER POSTER AND WHO IS THE SHITTIER COACH ARE SIMILAR POLLS. WHO IS THE BRIGHTEST IDIOT ON THE SHORT BUS?

THEY HATE US BECAUSE WE'RE FREE.

[BCEagles25]

We're playing 11 freshmen and sophomores on offense, and in that environment under those conditions, that wasn't the best situation to be in.

They're both pretty good at shit like this

[commavegarage]

Bump

[Manny]

I don't know who's worse, but I do find it interesting that our current coach plays the quintessential "keep it close and give yourself a shot in the fourth quarter" style, yet is accruing a list of blowout losses unlike any BC coach I can remember.

[BCdee]

I think this is worse than the Spaz era....I'm so fired up to go to Clemson this weekend...(crying in a fetal position)



PS - I feel horrible that these players have these current coaches....(not all of the coaches are included in that statement).

BRING BACK BIG AL WASHINGTON!