Everything about Soccer Sucks

by **Onyx Blackman** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 3:22 pm

Even Owl knows that you're not supposed to kick the ball into your own net.

by **Bryn Mawr Eagle** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 4:04 pm

Dear Ronaldo Circle Jerk Club:

Please do not feel the need to update us on every goal scored in this clusterfuck of a soccer tournament. I might start to care when the USA finally plays, but until then the only thing interesting about this tournament is how many Brazillians off one another in the various riots. Stick to what's important. Thanks.

by **DavidGordonsFoot** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 4:11 pm

Bryn Mawr Eagle {l Wrote}:Dear Ronaldo Circle Jerk Club:

Please do not feel the need to update us on every goal scored in this clusterfuck of a soccer tournament. I might start to care when the USA finally plays, but until then the only thing interesting about this tournament is how many Brazillians off one another in the various riots. Stick to what's important. Thanks.

by **angrychicken** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 4:16 pm

Bryn Mawr Eagle {l Wrote}:Dear Ronaldo Circle Jerk Club:

Please do not feel the need to update us on every goal scored in this clusterfuck of a soccer tournament. I might start to care when the USA finally plays, but until then the only thing interesting about this tournament is how many Brazillians off one another in the various riots. Stick to what's important. Thanks.

I move that this thread be moved to the baseball board for the duration of this thing.

by **TobaccoRoadEagle** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 4:38 pm

angrychicken {l Wrote}:
Bryn Mawr Eagle {l Wrote}:Dear Ronaldo Circle Jerk Club:

Please do not feel the need to update us on every goal scored in this clusterfuck of a soccer tournament. I might start to care when the USA finally plays, but until then the only thing interesting about this tournament is how many Brazillians off one another in the various riots. Stick to what's important. Thanks.

I move that this thread be moved to the baseball board for the duration of this thing.

seconded

by **angrychicken** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 4:43 pm

TobaccoRoadEagle {l Wrote}:
angrychicken {l Wrote}:
Bryn Mawr Eagle {l Wrote}:Dear Ronaldo Circle Jerk Club:

Please do not feel the need to update us on every goal scored in this clusterfuck of a soccer tournament. I might start to care when the USA finally plays, but until then the only thing interesting about this tournament is how many Brazillians off one another in the various riots. Stick to what's important. Thanks.

I move that this thread be moved to the baseball board for the duration of this thing.

seconded

Thanks. I would have done it myself, but I didn't want a bunch of dudes ripping their shirts off, falling down with fake injuries, and burning cars on my lawn.

by **Onyx Blackman** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 4:54 pm

Bryn Mawr Eagle {l Wrote}:Dear Ronaldo Circle Jerk Club:

Please do not feel the need to update us on every goal scored in this clusterfuck of a soccer tournament. I might start to care when the USA finally plays, but until then the only thing interesting about this tournament is how many Brazillians off one another in the various riots. Stick to what's important. Thanks.

And what's more likely to start a riot than a Brazilian own goal 10 minutes into the tournament?

But don't worry, all the ladyboys and ladyboy lovers will be leaving the stadium happy because some Gook referee was ordered to fix the game. It might backfire on FIFA, though. Angry Brazilians start riots; angry Croats start wars.

by **Bryn Mawr Eagle** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 5:03 pm

Onyx Blackman {l Wrote}:
Bryn Mawr Eagle {l Wrote}:Dear Ronaldo Circle Jerk Club:

Please do not feel the need to update us on every goal scored in this clusterfuck of a soccer tournament. I might start to care when the USA finally plays, but until then the only thing interesting about this tournament is how many Brazillians off one another in the various riots. Stick to what's important. Thanks.

And what's more likely to start a riot than a Brazilian own goal 10 minutes into the tournament?

But don't worry, all the ladyboys and ladyboy lovers will be leaving the stadium happy because some Gook referee was ordered to fix the game. It might backfire on FIFA, though. Angry Brazilians start riots; angry Croats start wars.

Was the traitor player flayed alive by angry fans? Was the Asianated ref mutilated in the stands? No on both counts. A goal is a goal. Boring.

The real excitement of an own goal comes when it results in fans riding the pony with a mutilated corpse of the player who "scored" it. Post pictured when that happens and I will thoroughly enjoy it.

by **Onyx Blackman** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 5:15 pm

You need to give the Croats some time. You can't rush ethnic cleansing. Huang, if you see an angry Slavic guy dressed as a tablecloth, waddle away.

There's also a non-zero chance the Croatian goalie was on the take. Like half the goalies in the tournament. This happened a few weeks ago and FIFA is still letting him play.

by **DavidGordonsFoot** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 5:25 pm

I agree with BME. Until the locals start hanging Brazilian players and/or refs from the outstretched arms of the Christ the Redeemer statue, I would rather clean the hot tub than watch this soccer thing.

by **angrychicken** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 5:38 pm

I gotta tell ya. I never pictured Onyx as a soccur guy.

by **TobaccoRoadEagle** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 5:42 pm

angrychicken {l Wrote}:I gotta tell ya. I never pictured Onyx as a soccur guy.

i think you ignore the soccer discussions because he typically gays it up pretty good in the soccer threads

by **angrychicken** on Thu Jun 12, 2014 5:52 pm

TobaccoRoadEagle {l Wrote}:
angrychicken {l Wrote}:I gotta tell ya. I never pictured Onyx as a soccur guy.

i think you ignore the soccer discussions because he typically gays it up pretty good in the soccer threads

That explains me not knowing.

Speaking of soccur, did I hear somewhere that they are jizzing on the field during these games?

by **gallopingghost** on Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:28 am

by **HustlinOwl** on Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:54 pm

What a great match.

Brazil 0
Mexico 0

by **flyingelvii** on Tue Jun 17, 2014 4:12 pm

Goals! The only thing that make sports exciting!

Only saw the highlights but Ochoa looked unreal. Stopped four point-blank opportunities.

by **twballgame9** on Tue Jun 17, 2014 5:22 pm

flyingelvii {l Wrote}:Goals! The only thing that make sports exciting!

Only saw the highlights but Ochoa looked unreal. Stopped four point-blank opportunities.

Goals would certainly improve soccer. It's not the only thing that is exciting, but it would give all of that other exciting shit a purpose.

by **angrychicken** on Tue Jun 17, 2014 6:05 pm

HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:What a great match.

Brazil 0
Mexico 0

You just want some dude to take his shirt off.

by **HustlinOwl** on Tue Jun 17, 2014 7:55 pm

angrychicken {l Wrote}:
HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:What a great match.

Brazil 0
Mexico 0

You just want some dude to take his shirt off.

No, but the offside rule needs to go(though I'm not exactly sure what it means).

by **flyingelvii** on Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:27 pm

twballgame9 {l Wrote}:
flyingelvii {l Wrote}:Goals! The only thing that make sports exciting!

Only saw the highlights but Ochoa looked unreal. Stopped four point-blank opportunities.

Goals would certainly improve soccer. It's not the only thing that is exciting, but it would give all of that other exciting shit a purpose.

Sure but it's really scoring chances that determine whether a game, in any sport really and especially hockey, is exciting or not. More scoring chances, more tension, more swings if emotion, etc.

by **twballgame9** on Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:55 pm

flyingelvii {l Wrote}:
twballgame9 {l Wrote}:
flyingelvii {l Wrote}:Goals! The only thing that make sports exciting!

Only saw the highlights but Ochoa looked unreal. Stopped four point-blank opportunities.

Goals would certainly improve soccer. It's not the only thing that is exciting, but it would give all of that other exciting shit a purpose.

Sure but it's really scoring chances that determine whether a game, in any sport really and especially hockey, is exciting or not. More scoring chances, more tension, more swings if emotion, etc.

I can't deny that, and I can't deny that I am watching. That said, the fact that one arbitrary call in the box can give a borderline automatic goal to one team or the other in a game where teams average less than 2 goals a game is a fucking joke.

by **pick6pedro** on Wed Jun 18, 2014 12:39 pm

HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:
angrychicken {l Wrote}:
HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:What a great match.

Brazil 0
Mexico 0

You just want some dude to take his shirt off.

No, but the offside rule needs to go(though I'm not exactly sure what it means).

spoken like a true dolt.

by **HustlinOwl** on Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:37 pm

pick6pedro {l Wrote}:
HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:
angrychicken {l Wrote}:
HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:What a great match.

Brazil 0
Mexico 0

You just want some dude to take his shirt off.

No, but the offside rule needs to go(though I'm not exactly sure what it means).

spoken like a true dolt.

You're probably right, no change of rules could make the sport watchable.

by **flyingelvii** on Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:40 pm

It's funny because removing offsides would probably make soccer more boring.

by **TobaccoRoadEagle** on Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:45 pm

flyingelvii {l Wrote}:It's funny because removing offsides would probably make soccer more boring.

yet it would likely add more goals.

talk about a logic box

by **DavidGordonsFoot** on Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:57 pm

TobaccoRoadEagle {l Wrote}:
flyingelvii {l Wrote}:It's funny because removing offsides would probably make soccer more boring.

yet it would likely add more goals.

talk about a logic box

it really is a game of inches, TRE.

by **angrychicken** on Wed Jun 18, 2014 2:18 pm

flyingelvii {l Wrote}:It's funny because removing offsides would probably make soccer more boring.

Know what would make soccer less boring? Land mines, knives, and deadly lasers. I'd definitely watch.

by **HustlinOwl** on Wed Jun 18, 2014 2:32 pm

flyingelvii {l Wrote}:It's funny because removing offsides would probably make soccer more boring.

Call me crazy, but I'm glad in American Football that WRs are allowed to run by the DBs and still catch the ball.

by **DuchesneEast** on Wed Jun 18, 2014 2:54 pm

HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:
flyingelvii {l Wrote}:It's funny because removing offsides would probably make soccer more boring.

Call me crazy, but I'm glad in American Football that WRs are allowed to run by the DBs and still catch the ball.

Why it doesnt affect our patterns with BC's wideouts.

by **pick6pedro** on Wed Jun 18, 2014 3:13 pm

HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:
pick6pedro {l Wrote}:
HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:
angrychicken {l Wrote}:
HustlinOwl {l Wrote}:What a great match.

Brazil 0
Mexico 0

You just want some dude to take his shirt off.

No, but the offside rule needs to go(though I'm not exactly sure what it means).

spoken like a true dolt.

You're probably right, no change of rules could make the sport watchable.

the effect of changing the rule (or ANY rule) is not at issue, it is the uninformed nature your opinion. like I said, a true dolt.

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